this tender work

mothering is tender work. it brings up so much grief and self reflection that sometimes it feels too much to bear. that is what i am realizing in all of this- this past year and a half has really rattled me, shaken me in to awakening to who i really am and who i really want to be in this world. along with this comes the realization of who i have been and not always liking that person. grief. i know all of what i have been feeling this past 1.5 years has purpose and is slowing guiding me to my own truth but that does not mean it has been without much pain. but slowly, i think i am learning that all we really have in this life is this moment- that's it, the future is uncertain and the past is over. and being in this moment is sometimes the hardest place to be.